i’m with stupid

Stupidity

By: Phil O. Safari on Oct 01 2008

Category: Biz, Story

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On the brink of destruction, the world desperately needs a Hero. Phil Safari, a reluctant Candidate, must prove himself worthy to the gods by completing a Heroic Task: change 1000 lives for the better… or else! The following is part of the Safaris – a collection of Phil’s misadventures in Heroism. Find out how it all started and what he has learned about love, life, and the pursuit of happiness.

From Phil’s custom dictionary…

Stupidity – noun – the state in which someone chooses neither to think nor to learn from prior experiences and repeatedly makes poor decisions as a result.

The number of stupid people in the world is rapidly increasing because the percentage of stupidity never goes down while the population is exploding. Stupidity is not automatically eliminated by intelligence or education. Many well-educated and knowledgeable people are nonetheless stupid because, regrettably, they choose not to apply their wonderful brains to their everyday lives. Many stupid people become “leaders,” and that’s a serious problem because…

Stupid leaders make stupid organizations

C3PO was a subdivision of the Department of Urban Management and Planning (DUMP), the stupidest organization I have ever had the misfortune of working in. And it all starts from the top.

C3PO had been reorganizing itself in an effort to maximize productivity for several months. Things were actually starting to improve when it was all vaporized in an instant. Several employees were not happy with their new roles or being asked to actually work, so they quit or transferred…but not before dropping the A-bomb on us. They got together and complained to DUMP Director, Stanford L. Tillman, who went ballistic. You see, Stan and the employees were all black, and many of our managers were white. Stan immediate saw this as a race issue despite the facts that 80% of DUMP employees were black and that most of the complainants received poor performance reviews. In the CCCP, Sta(li)n was judge, jury, and executioner, and you were guilty until proven innocent.

Our managers were understandably livid and insisted that HR conduct an investigation. The investigation produced evidence that these particular employees were mean, lazy, or incompetent. If anything, they were the bullies, not the managers, because they knew they couldn’t be fired. The managers were elated; justice had been served.

Imagine their surprise when Stan stood up at the big meeting to present the investigation findings and suggested that the managers needed to go to rigorous diversity training and to learn the City policies. Clearly, Stan the Man only read what he wanted from the report.

I snorted. I knew crap like this would happen.

“What was that, sir? Do you have something to add to the discussion?”

All eyes turned to me at the back of the room. My heart skipped a beat. OMG – did I do that aloud? Oh well, it was too late now.

“Yeah. I think that you are being a little unreasonable.”

There was stunned silence around the table, and that giant sucking sound was my “career” going down the drain. Not like it was going anywhere anyway. I wasn’t going to just sit here and watch injustice being committed.

Stan deliberately adjusted his glasses, his voice rising in anger. “You do know who you are talking to, don’t you? Who do you think you are?”

I cocked my head and glanced sidelong at him. That tone of voice, the gleam in those beady eyes…It was unmistakable. I felt my jaw clench and my pulse elevate. I hated bullies.

Something in me snapped, and I felt myself float out of my body and watched detachedly as some foreign power took control. The Artist Formerly Known as Phil picked himself up off that desert floor and stared directly into Stan’s now widening eyes. Something big was about to happen.


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