Ruuun!!!
By: Phil Safari on Apr 03 2008Phil Safari, a reluctant Candidate, must prove himself worthy to the gods by completing a Heroic Task: change 1000 lives for the better… or else! This is an episode of the philosophical sci-fi webserial, the Safaris.
I’m not a trained writer. It was obvious no one was going to pay me to write, so I needed a job - preferably one that didn’t leave me too tired and crabby after work to write. I had a few options, but my favorite was an admin job at the City and Community Central Planning Office, or C3PO, as I called it. The office was just blocks from my apartment, and it sounded mindless and stable. Perfect.
My interview reminded me of a trip to the principal’s office. I sat in a narrow hallway outside the managers’ offices, right next to a lady interviewing for the same position. Talk about awkward. Twenty minutes after the scheduled interview time, a spry, slightly built man finally bounded out of his office to greet us.
“Sorry to keep you waiting. I’m Terry Karazhy, the Admin Manager here, but everyone calls me Tank. Welcome to Soviet Union, comrades.”
I liked him already. CCCP, eh? I hadn’t thought about that one. Tank seemed like such a misnomer; it was a name more befitting the figure that soon emerged from the neighboring office. He was large bronzed man, easily twice Tank’s size, and was much more serious - even a little intimidating.
“Hello. I am Dr. Rhame, Director of CCCPO. Let’s get started.” His accent was thick and difficult to place. Somewhere in Eastern Europe, I would imagine.
To my relief, they decided to interview us simultaneously. I was to start with Tank and the other candidate with Dr. Rhame. Yay, no more waiting.
My interview with Tank was by far the strangest one I ever had. He just talked and talked, proceeding to paint a surrealist nightmare of an office. Staff feuded with each other; everyone had his own way of doing things. Was he trying to scare me away or something? Because it was working!
A little voice in my head cried out, “Run, Phil, ruunn!” What I needed was a stress-free job that allowed me to write in my spare time; not this unmitigated disaster. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this might be the perfect place to work. Anything I did here would be an improvement, which might translate into a few extra hits on my counter. I guess it was worth a shot.
Tank started to repeat himself after about thirty minutes, so I felt like I had to say something.
I cleared my throat. “So…do you have any questions for me?”
“Not really. You are obviously overqualified for this job. I just wanted to make sure you understood what you would be getting into. Dr. R will be making the final decision.”
Five minutes later, I was sitting in Dr. Rhame’s office, face to face with the head honcho.
“Why do you want this job?” Very direct; I like that. Finally a question I could answer.
“Well, if you look at my resume, virtually all my experience is government or non-profit. I want to help people and the community.”
“Yes, yes. But why do you want to work here?”
“This office does important work, including emergency planning. Sounds like you and Tank are committed to creating a new culture here, a new team. I want to be a part of that.”
“This is true, but it will take awhile. How do we know you will stay long enough to get it done? We require a minimum of two years commitment.”
You have got to be kidding. I expected having to justify my interest in this job, but this was ridiculous!
I don’t remember what I replied. In fact, I don’t really remember the rest of the day. All I remember was going home really tired and taking a long nap. Whatever I said, it must have been good because I got a call a few weeks later saying I was hired.
Have you had a similar experience? Post below; I’d love to hear about it.
If you liked this, share it!
Email or post to social networks
Link here
Simply copy and paste the code below into your web site (Ctrl+C to copy)
to get a link that look like this: Ruuun!!!
