Philoscifi

On the brink of destruction, the world desperately needs a Hero. Phil Safari, a reluctant Candidate, must prove himself worthy to the gods by completing a Heroic Task: change 1000 lives for the better… or else! The following is part of the Safaris – a collection of Phil’s misadventures in Heroism. Find out how it all started and what he has learned about love, life, and the pursuit of happiness.

I trudged along in a desert wasteland, parched earth stretching out endlessly in every direction. I squinted and thought I could see water shimmering in the distance. I licked my cracked lips. It probably was a mirage, but it was worth a shot. The vultures circled overhead, patiently awaiting their chance.

In the work place, vultures are people who never take risks but are always ready to swoop in to take the glory. Now that DocuWiz up and running, the vultures swooped in for a free lunch. Someone in IT suddenly realized that it could potentially solve issues that many people in the department were having. Overnight, I began hearing buzz that DocuWiz could be an enterprise solution for the entire department, a panacea for all ills.

I groaned. I could see what was coming, and I wasn’t having any of it. Elsewhere, buzz Was a good thing, but not here. Here, buzz didn’t come with any additional resources or cooperation; all you got were unreasonable expectations and blame when you failed. Wearily, I readied myself to fight.

But as suddenly as the buzz had appeared, it was gone – like a dust devil. The vultures had heard that something “better” was coming from Downtown, and they completely lost interest in DocuWiz. It was always about the BBD here – the Bigger, Better Deal. Nevermind that it would probably take years to implement. BBD anticipation was the #1 killer of projects. Why complete a project when it will be “obsolete” in the future?

Left in peace at last, I presented my vision for DocuWiz to Dr. R and all the C3PO managers. The response was shockingly tepid. One manager even asked, “What does this program do for me?” I pointed out that collaborative tools like this were designed to benefit the team as a whole, not any one of its members, and the amount of benefit depended on the participation level of the members. Dr. R replied that I need to show them “something to get excited about” before expecting any participation, to which I had no reply.

I left the meeting feeling completely deflated. I had thought that my greatest challenge would be dealing with IT, figuring that everything would be easier when my team was in a position to help. Now I realized there was no team, just a collection of self interested individuals. Tank’s words months ago seemed prophetic now.

I collapsed on the parched earth with a dull thud. There was no water; it was a mirage. I studied my surrounding and marveled at the collection of bleached bones that littered the landscape. Broken dreams of ages past – projects abandoned for lack of support or intentionally killed by spiteful people.

I was not a quitter, but I was exhausted. I was just going to close my eyes for a little bit…maybe a moment’s rest would reinvigorate me. As I drifted off, I began to muse about the depth of human stupidity.

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