Philoscifi

On the brink of destruction, the world desperately needs a Hero. Phil Safari, a reluctant Candidate, must prove himself worthy to the gods by completing a Heroic Task: change 1000 lives for the better… or else! The following is part of the Safaris – a collection of Phil’s misadventures in Heroism. Find out how it all started and what he has learned about love, life, and the pursuit of happiness.

It’s not every day that an attractive, witty woman asks you out, especially when you are down and out - which is why I was uneasy. One had to be wary of “coincidences” as a plaything of the gods. Was this one of Athena’s infernal jokes?

“Phil, is everything ok?” Evie had stopped several paces behind me. “You know, you didn’t have to say yes just to be nice. I’m a big girl; I can take rejection.”

Crap. Setup or no, I shouldn’t be rude. I better start paying attention.

“Oh no, it’s not like that. I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately. I’m really sorry about that; it won’t happen again. Were you saying something?”

“That’s ok.” We resumed walking. “I was asking how you ended up at the bar if it’s not your scene.”

“Ah…well, that’s hard to explain. Let’s just say that my usual forms of stress relief weren’t doing it for me today.”

Judging from the quizzical look on her face, I could tell that her imagination was making much more of this cryptic response than was healthy.

“Oh, nothing bad,” I added quickly. “Just videogames and movies. I’m your typical nerd, I guess.”

Evie seemed relieved. “Well, for what it’s worth, you don’t look like a nerd to me. You didn’t look like a druggie, but it’s so hard to tell these days. I work with troubled teens, and I’ve seen the terrible effects drugs can have.”

“Wow, that’s a tough job! I really admire the people who are able to do it.”

“Yeah well, don’t get too excited. I’ve been seriously thinking of quitting lately, and that’s why I was at the bar.”

“Oh.” We trudged along for a few paces in silence before I ventured, “May I ask you why? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I’m just curious.”

“No, it’s fine. I guess I’m getting tired of helping people who don’t try. It’s exhausting to lug someone up the mountain when he or she isn’t trying at all. The worst part is that despite your best efforts, you still fail 9 times out of 10. I just get so frustrated that I could scream! It would be really nice to help people that actually want to be helped.” Evie sighed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to dump all of that on you.”

“No, no. It’s okay. Believe it or not, I feel the exact same way. I spent the last 10 years in various nonprofits and government entities, and I don’t think I’ve made much of a difference at all. I still want to help, but I can’t keep going this way.”

“Yeah, me too! Now if I could only think of a better alternative, I’d switch in a heartbeat.”

“What about the things that you enjoyed as a kid? Sometimes it helps to think back to simpler times for insight, before things got so muddled.”

“Well, I don’t have much time or energy these days to do anything, but I used to love singing and doing anything artsy. I gave those things up though when I realized that I couldn’t really help people with them.”

“I wouldn’t say that. From my experience, the world desperately needs beauty. If you can somehow capture it and share it, you’ll be making the world a better place.”

“Hmm, I’ll think about that.” She cocked her head and looked sidelong at me. “Thank you, Phil, that’s quite encouraging. Are you some sort of motivational speaker by day?”

I laughed. “No, I’m a glorified secretary working for the City. I can barely motivate myself most days, and I’ve been told that my beautiful monotone puts people to sleep.”

“Well you could have fooled me. Oops, I think we passed it…there it is back there.”

We backtracked and entered Café du Monde.

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