Philoscifi

On the brink of destruction, the world desperately needs a Hero. Phil Safari, a reluctant Candidate, must prove himself worthy to the gods by completing a Heroic Task: change 1000 lives for the better… or else! The following is part of the Safaris – a collection of Phil’s misadventures in Heroism. Find out how it all started and what he has learned about love, life, and the pursuit of happiness.

“Philkilles” still burned with anger when he got home. Right now, he hated people, the world, and especially himself. By his own definition, he was surely the stupidest person on earth. He should have known better than to waste time trying help such fools. How many years had he wasted in similar pursuits of futility? Philkilles needed to release some of this rage before he exploded. He logged onto WoW.

Razzlebop (Jake): What up, man? Haven’t seen you in ages.

Aeriska (Philkilles): Get on Vent. I got stuff to say.

A minute later…

“Alright, this better be good to interrupt my gold farming. What’s the big deal?”

“I told the director that he was a #$%^ing tool today, and it felt good.”

There was silence on the other end for a good 5 seconds, and then laughter. “No shit! You serious?”

“Of course, I’m serious! Why the hell would I make up something like this?”

“Jesus, man, chill out! I’m on your side. Wow, Phil…we need to celebrate. Looks you finally grew some balls.”

“#$%^ you, man! I always had them; I just never used them until now.”

Jake laughed again. “All this cursing…I love it. This is a Phil I’ve never seen before. You should join YAPA, the new club I’m going to start for the Young and Passively Aggressive.”

“Hell yeah, sign me up. You can be the President, and I’ll be your VP.”

“#$%^ that; you can be Prez. I’m the Superman. So what now? I assume you got fired for this tirade.”

“Actually no, but I need to ditch this joint soon. That bastard is probably scheming on how to make my life a living hell right now.”

“Sweet, come join me in the unemployment line. Let’s celebrate by killing some noobs in Battlegrounds.”

Philkilles laughed. “Um…no. Their lack of skills and horrible teamwork will just piss me off even more. Thanks, but I have a more suitable outlet in mind.”

“Ok, whatever, so long as I don’t see you on the evening news. Guess I’ll see you around.”

“Later.”

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