Keep the faith
By: Phil Safari on Sep 01 2010Category: Story2
Phil Safari is no more, shattered into a million pieces. Will a hero emerge from the ashes, and will it be in time? Find out in this second chapter of the Safaris
“We’re making progress with the books and movies, but I’m worried that we’ll run out of time,” Evie said. “So I think it’s time to let you do the talking now instead.”
I scratched my head. “Ok, boss, but are you sure this is better? I mean, I have a lot of stories I could tell, but I know how useful they will be.”
“Well, I can help you sort it out, and at least this way, all the insights we glean will be 100% relevant. That’s not necessarily true with the stuff we get from the books and movies.”
“I don’t know,” I said, shaking my head dubiously. “How about giving me a demo?”
“Seriously?” Evie asked, visibly annoyed.
“Sure. I mean, it’ll show me what to focus on, plus I’ll get to find out the answers to burning questions like, ‘Do you always chase guys you barely know across the country?’”
“Oh, suddenly a comedian, I see?” Evie asked dryly, viciously smacking me in the chest with a pillow.
“Oww…Well, I guess I deserved that,” I said ruefully. “Nice throw by the way.”
“You totally deserved that, and I wasn’t half bad at softball back in the day,” Evie smirked. “Fine, I’ll humor you, but afterwards, you’re mine.” She settled back comfortably on the couch as she began her tale. “Ok, so I’m a bit impulsive, as you pointed out, and that’s pretty much my life defining trait. It explains why I’m here now, my career choice…and why I don’t talk to my parents anymore,” she added wistfully. “I love my parents, but if they had it their way, I would’ve married some local guy and settled down next door to them. Maybe even have kids by now. That’s just not me.”
“I see…continue,” I intoned in my best faux psychologist voice, prompting the evil eye from Evie.
“Anyway, my childhood was pretty traditional. I grew up in a suburb near DC, and my dad’s a lawyer in town. My mom stayed at home. I’m an only child, so I guess I got doted on.
“I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but it was too sheltered, too safe. My impulsiveness is probably a reaction against that. I yearned for excitement, so when it came to picking a college –”
“Hold up,” I interrupted. “You’re leaving out important details like, you know, love life and stuff.”
“Oh, the guys were all over my hot catholic school girl cheerleading ass, even the teachers.”
“Woah, really?!”
“No, not really, you smartass,” Evie said, launching another pillow at me. “Weren’t you listening just a minute ago? You think my parents would’ve let anything like that happen? I was an average looking, goodie-goodie. I didn’t even use make-up back then. What’s with you guys and these fantasies?”
“Yow…You’re Catholic?”
“Was…or still am but lapsed. I was already questioning the archaic rules and traditions by high school, and college put the final nail in the coffin. I went to Berkeley.”
“Wow,” I exclaimed, leaning back. “Talk about 180. Let me guess: you went buck wild there.”
Evie sighed. “Yep. Obviously, my parents weren’t happy with my choice, but they finally agreed after making me promise that I would come back to the East Coast after I graduated.
“Of course, that would never happen. I had a great time at Berkeley and grew a lot as a person…but definitely not in the direction that my parents approved of. Every time I went back home, I felt like I had to put on a mask, and eventually I couldn’t do it anymore…The last time I went home, I got into a big fight with my parents, and I haven’t talked to them since.”
Evie fell silent, slumping forlornly on the couch. I wanted to say something, anything, but all I did was stare at her lamely. The more the silence deepened, the more upset I got. Say something, you fool! Like what?? Finally, I got up and sat next to her, giving her an awkward hug. “I’m sorry, Evie,” I said quietly.
She sighed. “It’s ok.”
“You know, I haven’t talked to my parents in awhile either. How about we both seem out parents after this?”
“Just like that?” Evie asked incredulously.
“Sure, why not? In the short time I’ve been with you, I’ve learned that things don’t have to be hard. Sounds like you guys love each a lot. As long as you try, it’s only a matter of time before you guys make up.”
Did it work? I peered at her anxiously. First a hint of a smile, and then a laugh. She really did have the greatest laugh. “Wow, Phil, you’re getting pretty good at this counseling thing. Maybe you should give a try if this Hero thing doesn’t work out.”
“Hey, I learned from the best,” I grinned sly.
“Ha! Suck up,” Evie replied, punching me affectionately. “But thanks.”
“Oh I should finish my story,” she said, sitting up. “So, I didn’t know what to do with myself after college. I had majored in English and psych because I enjoyed them, not because I expected to make careers out of them. After graduation, I ended up volunteering at this counseling center that specialized in at-risk kids, and it eventually turned into a full time gig.
“At first it was really great. I got along with the director, Molly, and she taught me a lot about the field. But after a few years, I got restless. Part of it was burnout since the work was emotionally draining, but it was more than that. By then I had developed my own ideas and methods for doing things, but unfortunately, Molly wasn’t interested in them. Not that I blame her. She had built the center from the ground up, and naturally she thought she knew better.
“In retrospect, I should have left then to start my own thing or go to a different organization, but I stubbornly stuck it out. Maybe my guilt from betraying my parents had something to do with it, but I felt I had a duty to repay Molly for giving me a chance. I don’t know. I’m sure you can relate.”
“Uh, yeah,” I said, shifting uneasily. I could see where this was going, and I didn’t like it. Not one bit.
“Anyway, I had an epiphany that day we met. Being selfish is not necessarily a bad thing; you can be selfish for an unselfish cause. If you can be a great artist, why force yourself to be a mediocre teacher, just because you perceive a need? If you’re a good person, you’ll help people no matter what you do. You don’t have to throw yourself at them.”
“I knew you were going to say that!” I exploded, surprising myself and making Evie jump. My head was pounding, and the room suddenly felt too small. I began pacing the living room moodily. “This can’t be a coincidence.”
“What are you talking about?” Evie asked, bewildered.
“Athena said basically the same thing that very same day,” I growled.
“Hey, great minds think alike, right?”
I shook my head vigorously. “Look, I believe you’re not working for the gods, but how do I know that you’re not being used by them without your knowledge?”
“Well, you can’t, I guess,” Evie replied carefully. “I know that this sounds odd coming from me, but it’s all about faith.”
“Faith?” I laughed bitterly. “Uh….yeah, I don’t that’s really possible for me, not after what I know.”
“I’m not talking about religion,” said Evie, shaking her head. “After what you’ve told me, it’ll be hard if not impossible for me to go back to Catholicism. The faith I’m referring to is much broader: the trust in a natural order and in people…including yourself. In fact, everything starts with you.
“I told you about my intuition, right? Well, I never really appreciated when I was younger. I mean, I couldn’t really control it, and why would a nobody like me have any sort of special powers? But as I started counseling, I learned to harness it and found it to be amazingly helpful. If only I believed in myself earlier; think of how much more good I could have done!”
Evie paused, visibly wrestling for control. After a few moments, she sighed. “Sorry about that; it still burns me up. Anyway, I believe that there’s a natural order to things. Just like you needed your odyssey, I needed mine in order to see the light. Was it predetermined or random? I don’t know anymore, and it honestly doesn’t matter.
“What you do now is what matters. This is your moment of truth. If you have faith in yourself, in others, and in the order of things, you might be surprised at what you can achieve. But nothing can be built on doubt.” She glanced at me. “So what do you think?”
By now I had stopped pacing like a caged tiger and was staring transfixed at Evie. My anger had been replaced with a growing excitement. Mind whirling, I began to laugh.
“Phil?” Evie looked at me searchingly.
“I love you, Evie!” I exclaimed, rushing over and hurriedly planting a sloppy kiss on her astonished face. “You’re a genius! Faith? Selfish for an unselfish cause? Hell yeah, I’ll buy those. I know what I need to do now, and I can’t wait to get started.”
“Woah, really? Are you sure?”
Looking directly into her green eyes, I spoke confidently for perhaps the first time in my life. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
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