Philoscifi

Phil Safari is no more, shattered into a million pieces. Will a hero emerge from the ashes, and will it be in time? Find out in this second chapter of the Safaris

“Ah, Siddhartha…” I said, glancing at the book in Evie’s hand. “I read it just before you came. Siddhartha is the man who would be Buddha, yet he chooses not to follow him and opts to find his own way to Enlightenment.

“He and I have a lot on in common. I could never accept religion despite my despair and its attractiveness. It’s too neat…too easy. For some reason, things must be hard to be worthwhile, to be true. I guess I’m a glutton for punishment.”

“What happened to him in the end?”

“Oh, he reaches Enlightenment after a long, hard journey. In the end, he finally understood the world and his place in it.”

“What about you? If you guys are so much alike, are you close to Enlightenment?”

“Me?” I laughed. “Yeah right! I’m probably the furthest you can be from Enlightenment.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because the more I learn about the world, the more pissed off I get. I’m going the opposite direction. Instead of peace and acceptance, sometimes I feel that blowing things up and starting over isn’t such a bad idea.”

“If that’s how you feel, then isn’t your decision easy? Just say no to the hero gig. If the world burns, so be it.”

“If only it were that simple,” I sighed. “Every time I start going that route, I find a reason not to. The last two times, it was you: yesterday and the first time we met. If I believed in God, I would say that He was trying to get me to save the world, despite all the unfavorable experiences. So I’m stuck in the middle.”

Evie gnawed on her pencil absentmindedly as she processed what I said. I smiled. She looked adorable.

After a few moments, she nodded as if coming to a decision. She sat up and said, “I think we need to take a different approach with you; one approach does not fit all. As you know, I counsel a lot of troubled teens. They tend to be overly emotional, so getting them to slow down and think helps give them perspective. You, on the other hand, need to unthink. It’s not good when you think so much that you don’t know how you feel anymore. We aren’t machines; emotions are just as important as reason in healthy decision-making.

“So let’s take each of your current beliefs and find out how you really feel about it. You may be surprised at the results. Once you reconnect with your feelings, I think your decision won’t be that hard. You’ll know what to do.”

“Alright.”

“Ok, from what you told me, it sounds like you are taking an all-or-none approach. You expect the world to be either good or evil, but why should it conform to our standards? We didn’t create it. The world was here before us, and it will continue to exist long after we’re gone.

“What if the world just is? It’s neither black nor white. It’s grey, and the particular shade depends on the experiences we choose to commit to memory.”

I scratch my stubble beard. I really needed to shave. “Hmm, that sounds reasonable to me, although it offends my purist sensibilities. It also suggests that I’m biased toward negative memories, which is might true. I suppose this habit started after the…uh…accident .”

“Good. Now let’s take this a step further. Is it fair to say that the ‘unfavorable experiences’ in your mind greatly outnumber the positive ones?”

“Yes.”

“Yet you still feel torn. What does that tell you about the value of the positive experiences?”

“That each one is worth more on average than the negative ones.”

“Excellent!” Evie clapped her hands, and I felt my face flush with pleasure. As childish as it might be, it felt good to be praised, especially by her. “Now ask yourself this: how valuable are these experiences? Are they worth protecting?”

I sat there silently for several moments, stunned. I had never thought about it from this angle before. Are truth, love, and beauty worth it? The question seemed trivial, the answer obvious. “Yes. Life would not be worth living without them.”

“See, that wasn’t hard, was it?” I shook my head. “Now, there is one more thing I’d like for you to reconsider while we’re on a roll. You say that the last 10 years were a waste, but is that really true? Would you have gotten the insights you now possess any other way?”

“No, probably not.”

“So, maybe it wasn’t a total waste. Maybe the struggle was necessary?”

“I guess.”

“Well, I’d say this is progress! Wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Come on…say it like you mean it!”

“Yeah!!” I laughed, and it felt really good. It wasn’t the bitter, sarcastic laugh but the hearty, good-natured one.

“That’s better.” Evie stared off into the distance and said softly, “Seekers do not live in vain, though they often think so. They forget that the journey matters as much as the end…and sometimes more.”

“You’re right. But even though my life was worth living and the world is worth saving, I still don’t know if I’m the Hero or not.”

“We’re not there yet,” Evie sighed. “One step at a time…one step at a time. I’m not a miracle worker, you know.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to rush you. I feel much better already. With such an amazing and attractive counselor, who wouldn’t?”

“Mr. Safari, are you flirting with me?” Evie asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Maybe,” I replied slyly.

“Well, if you can behave yourself, there might be a reward for you at the end.”

“Wooo…it’s a deal! Ok, what’s next?”

“How about those videos in that stack over there?”

If you liked this, share!
Email or post to social networks

Link here
Simply copy and paste the code below into your web site (Ctrl+C to copy)
to get a link that look like this: Seekers live in vain?

<a href="http://www.philoscifi.com/safaris/story2/seekers-live-in-vain">Seekers live in vain?</a>